Being a sports fan means that you’ll often indulge yourself in a little sporting merchandise and memorabilia.
Sales of team jerseys are always a big hit for all sports teams, as are other items such as team branded caps, clothes, mugs, key rings, pennants and much more besides.
However, occasionally the marketing teams for some sports organisations seem to have a bad case of brain fade.
And when they do, this is when you get some of the weirdest, wacky and wonderfully tacky sporting merch items you can buy!
So here, we’re going to take a look at some of the items you will definitely (not!) want to get your hands on!
Sporting Merch – The Wacky, Weird, Woeful and Wonderful!
- Dallas Cowboys – Bikini Bottoms
Available now at the NFL Europe shop for £22.95,you can pick up some Dallas Cowboys bikini bottoms.
Strangely enough, there’s no bikini top available. Which does beg the question, are Dallas Cowboy bikini wearers generally exhibitionists?
Or did the marketing executives forget that bikini’s usually come in two pieces?
I’m looking forward to the Dallas Cowboys new range of left footed only trainers and right hand glove.
- Arsenal FC – Floral Button Up Shirt
I’ll be honest, on holiday in Florida, I like a nice, light cotton Hawaiian shirt or similar. Well Arsenal fans, you can indulge in a similar passion with this floral shirt from Foco, retailing at £40.
Admittedly, the design may look a little contrived. It looks like a standard floral shirt, with Arsenal badges hastily stamped on. But at least the colours match, well almost.
Oh and don’t feel too left out Liverpool, Man Utd and Manchester City fans! You can also buy similar shirts from Foco in your club colours too!
A very appropriate title for a game if you ask me. Head to Amazon now and you can pick up the Real Madrid version of Monopoly for just £14.09.
I am wondering if this is the original game, just tweaked with a Madrid livery. Or, if this is a new version of the game with specific rules and different options?
So you land on Chance and you get: “The wholly unbiased Chief Executive of the Spanish FA complains that you are not being favoured enough by UEFA. Go straight to the Champions League Final and sign Jude Bellingham”
Or on Community Chest, does it say “Windfall! New Spanish TV Deal comes in! Give all players £5 but you can take £50,000 as your share.”
I’d buy it! I.d love to see one for Man City, Paris St Germain and Newcastle United too…”Your team is taken over by a middle-eastern state. Simply pay for anything out of the bank and don’t worry about cash ever again as we can set up a few dodgy sponsorship deals… Go straight to Go and collect £20 billion…”
- Manchester United – Theatre of Dreams Storage Crate
The appropriately named UtterlyUniqueGifts sells this wooden storage crate for just £23.99 on Etsy and apart from being utterly weird as a piece of memorabilia, I think it is rather classy.
Quite what a football fan would use it for, I don’t know. Storing old shirts maybe? Programmes? Unwanted Angel Di Maria and Harry Maguire face masks? Who knows?
I’ll admit it, I quite like this. However, I have literally no taste at all, so make of that what you will.
We’re heading back to the great Foco site once again. But this time we’re looking at their excellent range of Gnomes!
We’ve plumped for the Chicago Bears version, but there’s a fantastic choice of gnomes available across several NFL teams and plenty of other sports too.
So if you are looking for something small and inoffensive to bung in your garden, and have £20 to spare, pick one up today.
Better still, buy seven and get a Snow White outfit and you can remake the Disney classic.
- Tottenham Hotspurs – Garter
Head over to the Spurs shop and you can tick off the “something blue” for your bridal outfit! That’s because Spurs are offering a Navy and White garter for £8.
You lucky, lucky lady!
And don’t worry ladies, you can also pick up some bralettes, boxers and briefs. Not to mention a fine line in personalised socks.
- Everton – Air Freshener – 3 pack
Want to make sure your car doesn’t stink as much as your team has this season? Well, head over to Amazon and you can pick up this 3 pack of Everton air fresheners!
It will be interesting to discover what these smell like? Is it the scent of panic as relegation loomed? Or will it the blessed smell of relief as Sean Dyche steered the team away from the drop?
Toffees fans could have some interesting scents here in this pack. The waft of the inside of Jordan Pickford’s gloves… it’s a winner!
Oh and I’m pretty sure other team Air Fresher packs are available on Amazon. I was just too depressed to find out how many others went down the Airwick route to earn a few bob.
- Tranmere Rovers Bone China Bauble – Foley Pottery
What says Christmas more than a bone china bauble with a cartoon depiction of your team’s stadia and scarce fans?
Well, Tranmere fans who want to shell out £25 on it can buy just such an item from Stoke-on-Trent company Foley Pottery.
The company sell their products on ebay, should you be inclined to purchase.
Why you’d want to? Well, that’s a different matter.
Wacky Y-Fronts Not For You?
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And remember, if you have a sports fans birthday coming up…well, you know where to start!
